作文批改范例：
As is shown in the picture, a lamp is shining in a dark place. There is a note above it, saying : （ 英语中没有冒号，用逗号代替，这里可以变成that,引导宾语从句 ） love is a lamp , （ 变成句号，后面注意大写 ） the darker the place is, the brighter （ 这里应该用副词，修饰的是动词shine,所以应该是the more brightly ）the lamp shines. It is not difficult to find the symbolic meaning of the picture : （ 用句号，后面另起一句，注意大写 ）we should give our help to the ones who needs it （ People who need it ）and do our best to let them feel warm.
The picture reminds ue （ us ） of the fact that in the recent earthquake in Sichuan, China , （ 用句号 ） people at home and abroad donated a large sum of money to the victims. As we know, the earthquake had maked （made）many people loss （ 用动词原形，lose，这里是make sb. do sth/的用法 ）their home and property. Some people has （ 删掉，用一般过去时就可以了 ）lost their relatives forever. However, the love from the whole world help （ Helps，这个动词的主语是love,注意主谓一致 ）them pick up the pieces, and give them confidence and courage to live on.
As the saying goes : （ 用逗号 ）every coin has two sides. We should pass our love through the proper ways. I suggest that we must donate something useful to the regular organizations, like the Red Cross Insititution. （ 拼写错误，institution ） And helping the victims in （ at ） the first time may be the most important thing, because they will feel lonely as they're in trouble. Only with our love and contribution, I am sure, would our society become more （ 删掉比较合适，因为这两个形容词的比较级形式不一样，你只用一个more是不行的 ）warm and harmonious.
点评：11-12分
文章的结构清晰，层次分明，内容充实，例证具有说服力。语言的运用能力很强。总体看来还是不错的，但是需要你注意文中出现的细节错误，尤其的关于标点符号的正确使用方面，希望你注意，该用的时候一定要用，来断开意群，不该用的时候一定不要用，会造成误解的。注意单词的正确拼写，包括单词本身的拼写，变换形式的拼写。这些错误看似很小，却能影响你的分数，希望你改正。加油。
As is shown in the picture, a lamp is shining in a dark place. There is a note above it, saying : （ 英语中没有冒号，用逗号代替，这里可以变成that,引导宾语从句 ） love is a lamp , （ 变成句号，后面注意大写 ） the darker the place is, the brighter （ 这里应该用副词，修饰的是动词shine,所以应该是the more brightly ）the lamp shines. It is not difficult to find the symbolic meaning of the picture : （ 用句号，后面另起一句，注意大写 ）we should give our help to the ones who needs it （ People who need it ）and do our best to let them feel warm.
The picture reminds ue （ us ） of the fact that in the recent earthquake in Sichuan, China , （ 用句号 ） people at home and abroad donated a large sum of money to the victims. As we know, the earthquake had maked （made）many people loss （ 用动词原形，lose，这里是make sb. do sth/的用法 ）their home and property. Some people has （ 删掉，用一般过去时就可以了 ）lost their relatives forever. However, the love from the whole world help （ Helps，这个动词的主语是love,注意主谓一致 ）them pick up the pieces, and give them confidence and courage to live on.
As the saying goes : （ 用逗号 ）every coin has two sides. We should pass our love through the proper ways. I suggest that we must donate something useful to the regular organizations, like the Red Cross Insititution. （ 拼写错误，institution ） And helping the victims in （ at ） the first time may be the most important thing, because they will feel lonely as they're in trouble. Only with our love and contribution, I am sure, would our society become more （ 删掉比较合适，因为这两个形容词的比较级形式不一样，你只用一个more是不行的 ）warm and harmonious.
点评：11-12分
文章的结构清晰，层次分明，内容充实，例证具有说服力。语言的运用能力很强。总体看来还是不错的，但是需要你注意文中出现的细节错误，尤其的关于标点符号的正确使用方面，希望你注意，该用的时候一定要用，来断开意群，不该用的时候一定不要用，会造成误解的。注意单词的正确拼写，包括单词本身的拼写，变换形式的拼写。这些错误看似很小，却能影响你的分数，希望你改正。加油。
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